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Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last dollar. Today: an IT communications lead who has a $175,000 joint income and who spends some of her money this week on heels for an office party. If you’d like to submit your own Money Diary, you can do so via our online form. We pay $150 for each published diary. Apologies but we’re not able to reply to every email. Editor’s Note: All amounts are listed in Canadian dollars. Occupation: IT communications lead Industry: Information technology Age: 28 Location: Vancouver, BC Salary: $75,000 Joint Income: $175,000. My boyfriend, F., makes about $100k a year, give or take $20,000 in either direction (he works in film and his schedule can be unpredictable). We split living expenses such as rent and groceries, but at this stage we’re pretty meticulous about splitting everything we spend evenly and don’t share finances in the traditional sense, as we each have our own goals. Assets: My RRSP: $17,000; F.’s RRSP: $36,000; combined savings: $8,900. Debt: $22,000 in credit card debt (this is F.’s, he took out a consolidation loan to get this under control). Paycheck Amount (Biweekly): $2,400 Pronouns: She/her Monthly Expenses Housing Costs: $2,910, split between me and F. Loan Payments: F. pays $600 to his consolidation loan. Electricity: $85 (bimonthly, split with F.). Internet: $98 (split). Pet Insurance: $87 F.’s Car Insurance: $170 (he pays this). Tenant Insurance: $86 (split). Apple Music: $11 Phone: $89 Software Subscriptions: $130 (for freelance work). Savings: $700 Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it? I grew up in a family consisting entirely of blue collar workers and artists. My parents got divorced when I was 2, and my mom remarried again when I was 9. None of my parents or stepparents were ever particularly interested or concerned with my grades or academic success, and since I excelled in art, writing, and dance, it was always expected I would pursue the arts and take a less traditional path. I wanted to wait to go to school but my mom pushed me to choose something after I graduated, so I ended up taking a special effects makeup diploma program and left my hometown shortly after graduating. My stepdad very generously paid my tuition, and I contributed about $10,000 for material fees. I left the industry a long time ago and do feel guilty that I never went anywhere with my limited education, but I am happy with the career path I’m on now. Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances? I had a very dysfunctional upbringing overall and money was a really big focus for everyone from the time I was about 6 years old. My parent’s divorce and the subsequent child support payments were a sore spot for my dad, and he started talking to my brother and I very early on about his financial troubles and debt. He frequently told us he regretted having children because of the financial toll it took on him, and while I love him and our relationship is better now, this resulted in me struggling to ask for or accept any type of help, and I’ve dug myself into many financial holes due to the feelings of shame. Similarly, my mom would inadvertently make me feel guilty for needing things growing up, and made it clear I was on my own for any purchases outside of food, shelter, and my dance education (which, to her credit, was expensive). I started paying for my own clothing, school supplies, and hygiene products when I was 13, but I didn’t have a way to make an income at that point, so I sometimes went without. I want to make it very clear that I do acknowledge my privilege in having my school and extracurriculars paid for while I was growing up, but it was difficult for me to have to pay for my basic needs as a child and I’m still unlearning a lot of things that both of my parents taught me. What was your first job and why did you get it? I started teaching preschool ballet when I was 16, but I didn’t earn very much. When I graduated high school and stopped dancing full time, I started working at Marshalls and Starbucks — this was to afford my basic needs and pay for car insurance and gas. Did you worry about money growing up? Yes, every second of every day. Money has always been a huge source of stress for me, and part of me has always felt like my parents struggled financially because they chose to have me. The worry piled on when I had to start paying for my own essentials in middle school as well. Do you worry about money now? Yes and no. I know I should worry more, especially with my boyfriend’s debt, but I can’t really bring myself to worry too much about the future outside of feeling guilty about the purchases I make. I think my upbringing affected the way I view personal finances, and outside of what I’ve already mentioned, caused me a lot of mental health issues that take precedence over worrying about my financial future. I want to be able to visualize a future that I care enough about to invest in financially, but it’s hard. At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net? In some ways I’ve kind of always felt financially responsible for myself. Aside from paying for my own expenses as I’ve already mentioned, I was completely on my own as soon as I moved out at 18 and started going to school. I worked five days a week and attended school full time, but Vancouver is expensive and minimum wage didn’t stretch very far. At this point in my life my parents are much more financially stable and we’ve repaired a lot of our relationship so I know if I really needed it they would try to help, but honestly, I don’t think I would ever ask. Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain. No. I will inherit my father’s farmland, but I am unsure of its valuation. Day One: Monday 7 a.m. — I snooze through my alarm a few times and then listen to a very tense political panel on CBC radio while I get ready. My boyfriend F. very kindly drives me to work since he’s working from home today. 9:30 a.m. — After a quick meeting to discuss plans for our company holiday party, I get a spinach feta wrap from Starbucks and buckle down to work. My coworker very kindly sent me a gift card because I’m in the middle of a huge project right now, so this one’s free!  12:15 p.m. — I break for lunch and warm up some maple tofu, broccoli, and rice leftover from dinner last night. I also have a couple of pieces of chocolate that my coworker brought back from his recent vacation. 5:30 p.m. — Still at the office; this project is killing me. I take a break to vape (sorry) and have a turkey pepperoni stick and some crackers from my office kitchen as a snack. 7 p.m. — Finally done for the day. I managed to wrap up a huge chunk of the project I’m working on, so I pack up and walk to the SkyTrain station. I tap my Compass Card, which already has money loaded on it. 7:45 p.m. — Home! F. suggests Chinese food so I don’t have to cook after my long day. I know we shouldn’t be spending money on this, but I’m exhausted so I accept. We order ginger beef, lemon chicken, chow mein, mixed vegetables, and egg rolls. We split the cost and watch Netflix while we eat. $27.30 11 p.m. — After dinner, I watch TikToks and play Mortal Kombat for a couple of hours (I play competitively, definitely the nerdiest thing about me). Then I go for a long walk, because I’m an insomniac and a night owl and need to be up as late as possible, for some reason. I come home and clean my kitchen, start some laundry, and work on a digital art commission, finally heading to bed around 2 a.m. Daily Total: $27.30 Day Two: Tuesday 8:15 a.m. — Work from home day! I appreciate being able to sleep in a bit because of my hectic sleep schedule. I get up, do my skincare and get ready, and then hop on my daily work call. I make a piece of Nutella toast and drink some chai. 12 p.m. — I work until lunch and then steam some rice to eat with leftover Chinese food from last night. 2:30 p.m. — I’m in way over my head with this project. I have a spoonful of raw vegan cookie dough as a quick snack and go back to my computer. F. isn’t working today so he heads out to see an afternoon movie and run some errands. 6:30 p.m. — I’m still working but I take a break to call my best friend. We talk for 45 minutes about his work and a website design project I’m thinking about taking on. He does freelance work as well, so we chat about day rates and imposter syndrome. 8 p.m. — F. comes home. He’s picked up some thumbtacks and batteries, which we split the cost of. I finish up the section of my project that I’m working on and do some chores, then make ham and Swiss cheese croissants and apple salad for dinner. We eat and watch Shameless, then have some sour cherry candies left over from F.’s movie earlier. $11 10 p.m. — I play a bit of Mortal Kombat and then work on a digital watercolour I’m doing for my mom. I eventually head to bed around 1 a.m. Daily Total: $11 Day Three: Wednesday 7 a.m. — Unfortunately I have to go to the office today to work with a colleague on my project, even though it’s supposed to be a remote day. I get ready, say goodbye to my kitty, and walk the 20 minutes to the SkyTrain station. My Compass Card still has some money left on it, but I’ll have to remember to reload later. 8:30 a.m. — I use the rest of my gift card to get a spinach feta wrap and an Americano from Starbucks. 10 a.m. — I take a quick break to vape and chat with my boss, who’s also outside smoking. 12:15 p.m. — I break for lunch and make a packet of instant ramen from the office kitchen. I top it with tofu and broccoli leftovers, which are starting to age and smell a bit funky so I hope I don’t get food poisoning. Eventually one of my work friends joins me and we shoot the shit until I decide to go for another vape. Then it’s back to work. 7 p.m. — I’ve worked all the way through the afternoon and evening with no breaks. I’m exhausted. I finally leave knowing that the project deadline is tomorrow, and it’ll be over for better or worse. I walk to the SkyTrain and tap my card. I forgot to reload it but I still have a small balance on my Compass Card! 8 p.m. — I get home, do some chores, and play a bit of Mortal Kombat. The grind never stops — and neither does my craving for vegan cookie dough, because I have another spoonful of that, too. Once I’ve wound down from my day I make tortellini with turkey mini meatballs. F. and I eat together once he gets home around 9 p.m. 10 p.m. — I wave a feather toy around for my kitty until she gets bored and decides she wants a nap, and then I switch between reading a historical biography, working on some digital art, and playing Mortal Kombat until I head to bed around 1 a.m. Daily Total: $0 Day Four: Thursday 6:45 a.m. — My alarm goes off and I want to throw my phone at the wall. But I don’t. I get ready and walk to the SkyTrain station, reloading my card on the way. I usually try to put enough money on it to last for a couple of weeks. $40 9:30 a.m. — After my morning meeting, I grab a spinach feta wrap like the creature of habit I am (I pay for it myself today, no more gift card funds), and then settle into work. It’s the last day of my project and it’s due at 2 p.m. I’m extremely stressed. $5.32 11:45 a.m. — After a morning of panic, I finally submit my project. It took over a month from start to finish and I’m SO glad it’s over. 12 p.m. — If you’re wondering when I’m going to start spending money this week, the answer is now. I walk to Indigo with my work friend to pick up a white elephant gift for our party tomorrow. I choose some giant cable knit reading socks and two mini packs of cotton candy. Luckily, everything is on sale. $34.90 12:30 p.m. — I stop into Sephora to pick up a tube of mascara. I’m tempted by other things, but I have quite a bit of shopping to do today so I’m trying to restrain myself. I’ve been using Tarte’s Lights Camera Lashes mascara since high school and it’s my favourite, even though I think I’m alone in that opinion. $38.34 1 p.m. — Now I’m tempted by grab-and-go sushi — and unfortunately I’m able to justify this purchase in my mind. I buy a tuna hand roll and takoyaki on the way back to the office. $13.40 3:30 p.m. — Some of my colleagues and I start setting up for the party. Eventually I take a break to eat the other half of my hand roll that’s leftover from lunch. 6 p.m. — I leave work to go grab some shoes for the party tomorrow. I know this seems like a frivolous purchase with my income, but my favorite heels broke. $95.33 8 p.m. — I go to tap my Compass Card and realize I forgot it at the office. I buy a single transfer ticket instead. $3.15 9:30 p.m. — Once I’m finally home, I have a spoonful of vegan cookie dough for dinner (oops) and try to figure out what to wear to our party tomorrow. I decide I hate everything in my closet and have a bit of a meltdown. I finally settle on a red satin 70s mini dress with butterfly sleeves. It’s cute but probably too short for a work party. Oh well!! I go to bed around midnight. Daily Total: $230.44 Day Five: Friday 10:30 a.m. — My boss let me sleep in today as a thanks for working so hard on that project, yay! I eat a croissant with some avocado at home and then F. drives me to work. 1 p.m. — I work through the morning and then break for lunch. My friend treats me to chicken strips, fries, and gravy. Everyone at my office is SO nice. Then I change into my dress for the party. 3:30 p.m. — We start the party and do a white elephant gift exchange, open team gifts, and have some prosecco. 6 p.m. — Our guests start to arrive! I order an Uber for F. (my boss is expensing rides for everyone tonight) and everyone eats canapés and plays drinking games until late. $60.55 (Expensed) 11 p.m. — We say goodbye and head out. F. decides he wants coke (the bad kind, sorry). I decide I’ll split a gram with him and send him some money. $50 12 a.m. — I do a single line and realize I’m way too drained to party, so we watch TV and go to bed once it’s worn off. Daily Total: $50 Day Six: Saturday 11 a.m. — I’m kind of hungover. F. and I wake up and go get chicken and waffles and then go for a long walk to get it out of our system. $42.24 3 p.m. — F. is going to a comedy show with our mutual best friend, and then they’re coming home to have some drinks. I’m happy they have some alone time since our group of three is always together. I do some chores and then our friend comes over to pregame. We have some drinks and then I start a pot of French onion soup once they leave. 9 p.m. — Once F. and our friend come home, we spend the rest of the night playing video games, drinking, listening to music, and talking. We do a couple of lines each of the leftover coke (I really don’t this often, even though it seems like it. We were just in a silly goofy mood), and finally head to bed around 3 a.m. Daily Total: $42.24 Day Seven: Sunday 10 a.m. — F. is already up doing an online course for work, so I make a breakfast wrap and hide in the bedroom to work on some digital art and hang out with my cat while he’s busy. 1:15 p.m. — I come out of hiding and play some Mortal Kombat. Then I do some chores and go for a long walk. 6 p.m. — We have officially done nothing today and are not planning on starting now. I make chicken curry and spring rolls and start Mad Max: Fury Road. I hate it and make F. turn it off halfway through. 11:30 p.m. — I am beat from this weekend and looking forward to getting back into my routine tomorrow. Time for bed! Daily Total: $0 The Breakdown Money Diaries are meant to reflect an individual’s experience and do not necessarily reflect Refinery29’s point of view. Refinery29 in no way encourages illegal activity or harmful behavior. The first step to getting your financial life in order is tracking what you spend — to try on your own, check out our guide to managing your money every day. For more Money Diaries, click here. Do you have a Money Diary you’d like to share? Submit it with us here. Have questions about how to submit or our publishing process? Read our Money Diaries FAQ doc here or email us here. Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

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